Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
