Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
