I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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