Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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