She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
