so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize