debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
