I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
