I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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