there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
