You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
