I'm really into asian looking animals
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize