things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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