He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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