Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
