He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
