So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
