I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
dude. I can hear the air.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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