so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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