Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize