can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
