i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
