Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
