Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
