I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
