Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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