First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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