Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
