i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
