so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize