I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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