Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
