where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
