You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
