I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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