This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wear drunk well.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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