dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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