yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
