i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
