if i can run in heels then i can drive
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
