And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
