Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize