just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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