He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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