I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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