i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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