I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
as a side note pls kill me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
