I'm so fucking centered right now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
