I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
