i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
