is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
