GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
