You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
