Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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