did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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