Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
