Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
