So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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