oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
