if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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