Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I see more hoeing in ur future
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