So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
