I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think my vagina is haunted
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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