is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
