so explain again why im purple
no
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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